I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What do you call a monkey who can’t keep a secret?
A blab-boon.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
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