If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
I told my wife that I saw a sheep pondering its place in the world.
She asked me, “Can ewe even imagine?”
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
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