Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
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