What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
Goat milk?
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
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