Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
Turtles love taking shell-fies.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
After his teeth were cleaned, the werewolf ate the dentist.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
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