What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
Whatever floats your goat.
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
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