What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower? A hare dryer!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
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