What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
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