If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like "Hell if I know!")
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
Of all the best pieces of wolf advice, this is my favorite, “stand fur what you believe”
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
When does a Koala go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What happened when the tiger ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
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