Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
A mosquito can fly, but a fly cannot mosquito.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
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