What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
You must be the Easter Bunny, because you’ve got me all egg-cited.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn't want to be involved in a catfight.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What did the husband beaver say to the wife beaver to express his love and gratitude? You are the one for me, waddle I do without you?
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
To the person who stole my coffee, my lamp, and my parrot…
I don’t know how you sleep at night.
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
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