Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
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