I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
I've just got a new job as a nursery rhyme cow.
I'm over the moon.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
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