What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
I like you, you croc my world.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
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