What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
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