What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What do you call a kids book about otters? Harry Otter.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
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