When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
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