What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
Why do cows have no money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
When does a Koala go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
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