What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
How tall is a spider?
Eight foot.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
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