A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
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