What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
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