What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
To the person who stole my coffee, my lamp, and my parrot…
I don’t know how you sleep at night.
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?
Kraken down.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
Why do ants work so hard?
They are all serv-ants.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
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