What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
What do you call a funny parrot spoof
A parody
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
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