What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
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