Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
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