What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
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