What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
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