Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
I like you, you croc my world.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What to spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
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