My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
Go to BabaMail
