What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
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