What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
My pet turtle died.
I'm not upset - just shell-shocked.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
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