A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
Goat milk?
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
How tall is a spider?
Eight foot.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
What is a baby parrot's favourite game? Beak-a-boo!
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
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