Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
Why did the elephant start the stampede?
Because it wanted to be herd.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
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