What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
The wolf really needed to talk with the skeleton because he had a bone to pick with him.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
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