Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.
He said "nah, I’m not really Inuit."
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch? Tea Rex?
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
Who is a beaver's most favorite pop singer ever? Justin Beaver.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
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