Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do you drive in a river? An otter-mobile.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
The group of beavers loved the river because it has a really bubbly personality.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
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