It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What kind of luggage did the vulture bring on the flight?
Carrion.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Because he was playing with a cheetah.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
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