What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Where do ants go on vacation?
Frants.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
How does an antisocial crow say about a family party? "It was murder".
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
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