The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
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