I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Because he was playing with a cheetah.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...
My lobster's name is:
Claude
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
Why do Otters swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
Go to BabaMail
