Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn't want to be involved in a catfight.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Who is a beaver's most favorite pop singer ever? Justin Beaver.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
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