What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
What is a bunny’s motto? Don’t be mad, be hoppy!
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
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