Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
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