What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
My lobster's name is:
Claude
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
Why do cows have no money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
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