It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What does Harry Potter use when sealing packages?
His Parceltongue.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
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