Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
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