What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
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