What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Who is a beaver's most favorite pop singer ever? Justin Beaver.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
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