What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What do zebras hold?
Ze boobs.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
When a dinosaur gets a goal in a soccer tournament, it is known as a dino-score.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
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