Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
You have goat to be kidding me.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
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