What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
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