What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
How tall is a spider?
Eight foot.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...
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