I know this bird who was excluded from his flock for being too big
He was ostrich-sized.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
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