Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.
What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
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