What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
A mosquito can fly, but a fly cannot mosquito.
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
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