Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
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