Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.