What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
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