What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
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