I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
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