What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
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