What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
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