Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.