What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
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