Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
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