Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.