What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
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