What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
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