How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.