What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
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