What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
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