What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
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