As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
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