What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
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