What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
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