What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
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