What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
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