What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
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