What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
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