Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
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