Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
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