What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!