Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
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