Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
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