Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
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