Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!