What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.