Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
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