What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
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