What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
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