What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
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