What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
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