What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
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