What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
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