Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
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