What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Bee warned.
Bee puns really sting.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
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