Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A squarrel
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a minefield!
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
Go to BabaMail
