What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why are parrots the life of the party? Every day is their bird-day!
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
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