Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
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