How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
How did the macho bee with eczema feel?
B-Itchy
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
A beaver asked his fellow beavers to hurry up and said, "Water you waiting for, make haste."
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
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