How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
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