What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
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