Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
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