If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
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