What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
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