A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
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