How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
Goat milk?
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
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