Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
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