What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Goat milk?
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Don't worry, bee happy!
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
Why did one camel spit and stomp when the other camel stole its cheese?
Because they’re “dramadairies”
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
You have goat to be kidding me.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
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