What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What did the librarian say to the beaver who wanted to read a help book? You can try by-rowing it.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
How do koalas stay in shape? They do bearobics.
Turtles love taking shell-fies.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
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