Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What kind of seal do you get on letters from Turkey?
A stamped bull.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
What martial art do monkeys practice?
Flung Poo.
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