Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What do you call an insect that can’t drink milk?
Lactose intoler-ant.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
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