How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
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