Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
What do you call memory loss in a parrot?
Polynesia
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
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