Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
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