There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
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