The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
What did the husband beaver say to the wife beaver to express his love and gratitude? You are the one for me, waddle I do without you?
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
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