What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
When a dinosaur gets a goal in a soccer tournament, it is known as a dino-score.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
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