I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
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