What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
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