Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
What would a tiger running a Xerox machine in the back of a store be called? A copycat.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
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