What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
A beaver asked his fellow beavers to hurry up and said, "Water you waiting for, make haste."
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
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