Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
Why do spider-musicians always have such long concert tours?
Because they have so many legs.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
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