What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
A beaver asked his fellow beavers to hurry up and said, "Water you waiting for, make haste."
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
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