Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano? He was playing by ear!
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
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