What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
I goat this.
Goat milk?
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
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