Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
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