What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
You must be the Easter Bunny, because you’ve got me all egg-cited.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
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