Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
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