Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
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