A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
What would a crow wear to the Halloween party? A crown!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
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