How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
He was foraging checks.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda’d to its every whim!
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
Goat milk?
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