What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
The wolf really needed to talk with the skeleton because he had a bone to pick with him.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
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