Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
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